Mediation Braunschweig

“There are three sides to everything:
one that I see, one that you see
and one that neither of us sees.”

Paul Watzlawick

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What is the difference between couple counseling and mediation?

They have a different target group: couple counseling is for couples. Mediation is suitable for all other groups of people who might come into conflict with one another, e.g. families, co-workers and superiors, neighbors, teachers and parents. Only in the event of separation is mediation a suitable approach for couples.

Conflicts and types of conflict

Conflicts are part of life. They arise whenever people live and work together. Everyone has their own views and opinions, values and priorities. Conflicts are nothing bad, but rather serve as an indicator that something needs to be resolved.

However, we all deal with conflicts differently. In his book “The magic of conflict”, T.F. Crum presents a clear and easy to understand typology according to the way people react in conflicts. He describes the three different conflict types as circles, triangles and squares.

Circles value harmony in relationships above all and therefore prefer to avoid conflicts: “Oh, don’t worry. It’s not so bad. That’s okay… ”, they say for instance. However, experience teaches us that a conflict swept under the carpet will “come and get you” eventually.

“Burying your head in the sand
does not improve the view.”

Anais Nin

Mediation-Voegel
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Triangles strive for clarity. They prefer an open argument (even if it is a loud one) to hidden animosity. While circles feel quite easily threatened by triangles, triangles consider circles wishy washy and therefore annoying.

“Now tell me what’s really going on! You are such a harmony bear!”

Triangles strive for clarity. They prefer an open argument (even if it is a loud one) to hidden animosity. While circles feel quite easily threatened by triangles, triangles consider circles wishy washy and therefore annoying.

“Now tell me what’s really going on! You are such a harmony bear!”

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And what about squares? At first glance, they are the winners. They are unemotional, convinced that they are right, more stable than the circles and not as aggressive as the triangles. However, due to their reluctance to change their opinion, it is difficult to get them to open up. Triangles like to refer to squares as “stubborn” or “headstrong”.

Quadrate

Do you recognize yourself in one of the types?

So what to do in the event of a conflict?

Of course, it is best if you can resolve your conflicts in a clarifying discussion. However, your own conflict management does not always work. Arguments can get heated with yelling, swearing and more than a few hurt feelings and bruised egos. In the worst-case scenario, you end up in court. There, you need a lawyer and a judge decides the outcome of the matter. However, how can I be sure that I will like the decision? Quite often, both conflict parties end up dissatisfied.

An alternative way is mediation. With this form of conflict management, you also put yourself in the hands of a third party, a mediator — but someone you can choose — and, during the mediation process, you take an active part in finding the solution yourself.

Konfliktfall

This means specifically for you and me:

You decide whether you want a mediation and you can end it at any time. Mediation will only work if all parties involved are willing to find a solution.
I give everyone involved a space where you can open up. Each side can describe their point of view. This creates mutual understanding and a rapprochement becomes possible again.
You and “the other side” have a shared responsibility to develop a solution that you can all live with.
Of course, I treat all information that comes up in the context of mediation confidentially.

“When we listen for their feelings and needs,
we no longer see people as monsters.” 

Marshall B. Rosenberg

The professional environment…

At work, constellations are different from your private life. However, the underlying mechanisms are similar. Whether at work or at home, we are all human beings.

If you, as a manager, find that there is something wrong with your team, the mood is not right and the motivation leaves much to be desired, it is time to act. Call me and, together with your team, we will find the underlying cause. In a safe environment, I help the group to recognize and express feelings, fears and needs. Once the coworkers get along on a personal level, they can turn to the issues at hand and work out solutions.

…and the intercultural aspect

In international teams, cultural differences can stand in the way of a successful cooperation.

The challenge in dealing with possible conflicts is not to blame everything on cultural differences, though. People are individuals and their cultural background only makes up part of their personality. Nevertheless, tools such as Erin Meyer’s Culture Map provide culture-related clues. They help to determine the current situation and thus offer a good basis for discussion on how the team would like to deal with the differences.

Call me and we will find out how I can help you!